Boy Meets Grace

"So what do you want to do later on down the road?" There goes the question. Here comes the answer. "I want to be a pastor. Get involved with church planting and ministry." There goes the answers. What follows is what I deem, "the look." Now, I am quite familiar with "the look." "The look" is what the person gives in response to my answer, signifying that in their mind they just placed me on a different level than them self. I am no longer an equal. I am a person who "has it all together." Thats what "the look" tells me! Usually it is not verbalized, except for one time where one guy told me that he wasn't very religious like he was confessing to me. "That's cool, I didn't ask you if you were."

One thing I've learned is that being a pastor or in a ministry leadership role doesn't mean you "have it all together." Rather, it means that you have humbled yourself to allow God to redeem your shortcomings for His will. It means that you have come across the revelation of the bigness of our God and how impossible it is to not bow down and humble yourself before the presence of such a big God. But the reality is: you are one of many Christians who have arrived upon this revelation.

Bearing the title of a Christian brings on the assumption that you have it all together when the reality is that God holds us together. The only thing that keeps the shattered pieces of our broken nature from spilling all over the place is the grace and love of God (Lam 3:22). The only thing that keeps our soul from being sucked into the black hole of our deceitful, sin-natured heart is the regenerating work of the Holy Spirit within us. The only thing allowing us not to be consumed within ourselves, not allowing our light to become trapped within the black hole of our sinful heart, but rather allowing it to shine before men is Jesus Christ living within us. It is not a natural force that man does by himself, but rather, it is a supernatural force compelled by a stirring of God's will within us. 

So why does the idea that "we" have it all together come across more often than the idea of God holding us together? Because the beggar can only relate to the beggar. The beggar can not relate to the proud man. Whoever you come across who gives you "the look," whether they are the beggar or proud man does not matter as long as you humble yourself to become the beggar. No one can relate with the proud man because usually they have placed their self too high for anyone to get to their level. It is all about the idea of being a beggar for God's grace. 
How can we be the beggar? We humble ourself to the point where we can repent. 
Now let me pose the point: How was David a man after God's own heart when he did evil in the Lord's eyes so many times? Like the time he sent Uriah the Hittite to the front line so he would die and David would take Bathsheba, his wife, as his own? Because when Nathan rebuked David, David repented before the Lord saying, "I have sinned against the Lord" (1 Samuel 12:13). Thats why in Acts 13:22, David is described as a man after God's heart. He repented before the Lord, not placing himself above the Lord's forgiveness or power. David was in no way a proud man before the Lord, and he even says this in Psalm 131!
When we become a people after God's own heart, we shine God, not ourselves. It is my prayer that when people give us "the look" they'll see a brokenness that has been redeemed by the grace of God.